!!! Cloud Atlas Shrugged (I Am So Bored And Various Sundry Things) !!!

Ms. (?) Lana And Mr. Andy Wachowski Request Your Presence At The Premiere Of Their New Film, "Cloud Atlas". Cursed Earth Pizza Will Be Served And Entertainment Will Be Provided By Mike Wazowski, Please Leave Your Sparkly Vampire At Home, RSVP !?!

Wow, things are dead in the world of film this week. Either nothing is going on or they are waiting until later in the week (I'll get to that). So, first I hear the Superman news (bad stuff) then, nothin', nada, zilch. The fact that Hans Zimmer is doing the music for "Man of Steel" single handedly destroyed Hollywood (just kidding... kinda). This week has been pretty weak (that's me using homonyms... English, it's like a second language to me). Anyhow, I have been banging my head against a wall trying to find something to tell you guys, so here's what I got.


For some reason, God only knows, movie studios feel the need to bait the public even more than they already do. The hot "new" trend is for a studio to release a "teaser" for a "trailer". That's right folks, they release a 5 second blast of images in order to let you know that they will soon release a 2 minute blast of images. Why do they do this exactly? I have no clue. Isn't a trailer for a movie essentially a teaser for said movie? Why do I then need a teaser for a trailer (this makes my head hurt)? Why not just release the trailer or a short 1 minute teaser (this is the actual thing that they have been doing for years until recently) and skip this unnecessary step altogether? Needless to say, I saw today where Lionsgate has released "5 seconds" of the Judge Dredd trailer on Machinima a day (yes, you heard that correctly) before they release the trailer. Just release the trailer you frakking teases. Ladies and gentlemen, Hollywood thinks that you are so stupid that you will poop out a brick just to see the smallest snippet of footage for a movie. Well, guess what Hollywood, I refuse to bow to your dumb stunts. I'm not even going to link to your stupid teaser for a trailer (if you fine people want to check out this useless bit of footage go to the Comingsoon.net link below and search for it yourself). I'll be back tomorrow with the real trailer and my thoughts, so hold your snicker doodles and be patient. Guess what Hollywood, we "can" be patient.

Now this is more like it. Pixar has released actual teasers (more than 5 seconds) of next summer's Monsters University. These things are infinitely more watchable than the crap that Lionsgate threw out today. The first Monsters movie is one of my favorite Pixar movie (maybe just behind The Incredibles), so I'm looking forward to this one. If "these" teasers are any indication, then we are In for a treat.

Lastly, Warner Bros. Pictures has announced today (after they totally screwed up Monday) that the Wachowski Broth... people will release their new movie "Cloud Atlas" on October 26th of this year. You have heard me talk about The Matrix Trilogy "here" and you also know that I enjoy their work (The Matrix trilogy is extremely fun after you've had a few), so I'm interested to see what this thing looks like. It appears we will know sooner rather than later (maybe Comic-Con, which we will cover extensively). The story is taken from a book of the same name by David Mitchell and stars such actors as Tom Hanks, Hugo Weaving, and Hugh Grant to name a few. That's a combination you never thought you'd see. Crazy sex changes aside, the broth... siblings look to be making a descent film, with great talent and a best-selling novel behind it. I know that this movie will look good, let's hope it plays good too. You can check out the rest of the story "here" and I'll update you as it gets closer to October 26th.

Oh... Sigh... for all you Twifarts out there, they released the trailer for the last movie in the Twilight Series (It's about a bunch of horny high school kids that have contracted a disease that makes them crave blood and "sparkle", come on people). So, if your into that kind of thing then click "here". For all the normal people, ignore everything that you just read.

Well, I'm off to brood until something good shows up so have a splendid evening. I will return.

Todd "Still A Man, According To Nic" B.

[Comingsoon.net]


"Mr. I am da law"

Before

After

See the difference? Yeah, me neither.

!! Franco Nero Shot My Horse And I Liked It (Django Unchained Is... Well, Unchained) !!

Quentin Tarantino is going to shoot you down, Bang Bang!!

Tarantino is at it again. He has tackled everything from the "Heist Movie", to the "Lone Samurai" film, all the way through World War II, and done so with what I can only describe as "High Class Exploitation B-Movie" sensibilities. The Man knows his films. He has the most eclectic and complete taste in motion pictures that, given the chance, I wouldn't begin to question his knowledge on the subject, even slightly. I have learned that if Quentin recommends a film, he does so because he knows what he's talking about. He is a fan, just like you or I and maybe more so. So far he has not made a movie that I didn't like (wow, that's saying a lot for a person who likes everything... shut up third person self). Tarantino has a command of dialog that others only dream of and he is able to hold your attention whether he is doing action or more subdued drama or comedy. He is one of the few directors in Hollywood who can film whatever he wants to (even though they don't always make a lot of money in theaters). I think that Quentin films what he likes and if you, the audience, respond to it great, if not, so what.

He did "Kill Bill" and got to do both a revenge movie and a samurai flick all in one. Then, he did "Death Proof", his pseudo horror film. Next came "Inglourious Basterds", his dream WWII project. All these movies had one thing in common, they are all homages to the films and filmmakers he loves. You can only call his catalog of motion pictures the "neo exploitation flicks" and he is following those previous tales with his version of the spaghetti western, Django Unchained. Fandango debuted the new trailer for the film here (click it, you'll like it). The name comes from a 1966 spaghetti western staring Franco Nero and directed by Sergio Corbucci. It spawned many sequels and made Franco Nero a star in Italy. Tarantino is a fan and has been know to reuse the names of other movies for his own (much like a repurposed Christmas present). This thing looks fun with a capital Boo Yow! It's got Jamie Fox, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Don Johnson (watch for the "Colonel Sanders" looking joker), Sam "Nick Fury" Jackson (a Tarantino mainstay), and a whole bunch of people you have seen at one time or another you just don't know their names. Also, watch for the guy sitting beside Jamie Fox in the bar at the end of the trailer, that's Franco Nero (how cool is that... very that's how). Also, you got to love the music, Quentin has an ear for the tunes and that makes his films that much better.

By the way, you should also check out the trailer for Disney's (not Pixar's) new CGI animated movie called, Wreck-it Ralph. If you love old school video games and arcades, then you will get a kick out of this. It appears that Disney Feature Animation doesn't want to always play second fiddle to the alpha male called "Pixar". They are stepping up their game (can't wait). I hope to be back latter in the week for more on E3 and next week my review of "Prometheus" (or as it's known around here, Alien 0). Stay tuned sports fans (yeah I know this is an entertainment site, sue me or better yet don't).

Todd "Hadouken" B.

[Fandango and Comingsoon.com]