Posts tagged #Politics

BATWOMAN Casts Rachel Maddow as Vesper Fairchild


There's going to be a lot more gossip about Batwoman.

The Hollywood Reporter has revealed that the new CW series Batwoman has cast MSNBC TV program host and political commentator Rachel Maddow in the role of DC Comics character Vesper Fairchild.  The role will be recurring, with Maddow only appearing in a vocal performance.

According to the article, Vesper Fairchild is described as "a television and radio personality who had a romantic relationship with Bruce Wayne (Batman)."  In the Arrow episode "Elseworlds, Part 2", Oliver Queen revealed that he once dated Vesper.

Maddow, 46, is best known as the host of The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC and is the first openly lesbian anchor to host a major prime-time news program in the United States.  This will be her second connection to the world of Batwoman, after writing the introduction for the 2010 DC Comics deluxe edition of Batwoman: Elegy, which collected the "Elegy" storyline from writer Greg Rucka and artist J.H. Williams III that ran in Detective Comics (vol.1) #854-860.

"We consider Vesper Fairchild to be the sardonic Voice of Gotham," said Batwoman showrunner Caroline Dries in a statement.  "In addition to Rachel’s interest in Batwoman, we thought she’d be the perfect casting choice because her own hard-hitting journalism wildly contrasts Vesper’s penchant for snark, gossip and criticism of female superheroes."

Created in 1997 by Doug Moench and Kelley Jones, Vesper Fairchild first appeared in Batman (vol.1) #540 as a radio talk show host known as the "Siren of the Night", who met billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, secretly the vigilante known as Batman, when he was a guest on her show.  The two soon became romantically involved.

After a massive earthquake stuck Gotham City and it was declared a "No Man's Land" by the federal government, Fairchild left the city to start a career as a journalist.  When she returned to the revitalized city, she once again continued a romantic relationship with Wayne.  Because Fairchild was investigating Wayne's alter-ego Batman, he decided to sever the relationship to avoid his secrets from being revealed.  To this end, he invited her to Wayne Manor while he had three other women there, causing Fairchild to leave in tears.

She was eventually shot at Wayne's mansion by the assassin David Cain, who was acting on orders from Lex Luthor (then President of the United States), to destroy his business rival by framing Wayne for murder.  Her death would lead to Batman briefly abandoning his Bruce Wayne identity.

Batwoman premieres Sunday, October 6th on The CW.

Posted on October 5, 2019 .

President Trump Plagiarizes Bane During Inauguration Address


Oh, boy.  First, Melania Trump plagiarized Michelle Obama in a speech and now this.

President Donald Trump was officially sworn in as the 45th President of the United States earlier today, delivering an inauguration address that Batman movie fans may find disturbingly familiar.

During his address to the nation, Trump declared, "Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning.  Because today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another.  We are transferring power from Washington D.C. and giving it back to you...the people.  For too long, a small group in our nation’s capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have borne the cost.  Washington flourished but the people did not share in its wealth.  Politicians prospered but the jobs left and the factories closed.  The establishment protected itself but not the citizens of our country.  Their victories have not been your victories.  Their triumphs have not been your triumphs and while they celebrated in our nation’s capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.  That all changes starting right here and right now because this moment is your moment.  It belongs to you."

If that rings some bells, Bane, the Batman villain featured in the 2012 Christopher Nolan film The Dark Knight Rises,  "We take Gotham from the corrupt!  The rich!  The oppressors of generations who have kept you down with myths of opportunity, and we give it back to you...the people.  Gotham is yours.  None shall interfere.  Do as you please.  Start by storming Blackgate, and freeing the oppressed!  Step forward those who would serve.  For an army will be raised.  The powerful will be ripped from their decadent nests, and cast out into the cold world that we know and endure.  Courts will be convened.  Spoils will be enjoyed. Blood will be shed.  The police will survive, as they learn to serve true justice.  This great city...it will endure.  Gotham will survive!"

If you'd like to see the comparison for yourself, you can check out below thanks to YouTube account Tilo Jung...



Gary Oldman had better hurry up and turn on the Bat Signal before it's too late...

Posted on January 20, 2017 .

FULL FRONTAL Has David Tennant Read Scotland's Tweets to Donald Trump


I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed Tennant didn't say "We didn't want to go."

On last night's episode of TBS' Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, Bee opened with a segment on Brexit, the popular term for the United Kingdom's controversial withdrawal from the European Union.  Part of Bee's epic satire was focused on none other than equally controversial Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump, who congratulated Scotland for Brexit while visiting his new golf course there the morning after the Brexit vote...even though they voted overwhelmingly to stay.

Naturally, there were a number of Scots offended by Trump's comments that took to Twitter, so who better to read their responses to Trump than Scottish actor (and former Tenth Doctor on Doctor Who) David Tennant.  Tennant rattled off a few harsh replies to Trump, including "Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in Europe, you toupéd f—trumpet" and "They voted Remain and they hate your guts, you ludicrous tangerine ballbag."

Bee thanked Tennant for reading the tweets, then asked him for one last favor of going back in time and save people from voting for Brexit.  This was immediately followed with a clip from the Doctor Who episode "The Fires of Pompeii," in which Tennant's Tenth Doctor tells Donna Noble (Catherine Tate) "Can't you understand, if I could go back and save them, then I would, but I can't.  I can never go back!  I can't!  I just can't!"

And in another nod to Doctor Who, Bee advised her audience to take this year's Presidential election seriously "and for God's sake, between now and November, don't blink."  This was accompanied by the following picture of Donald Trump as a Weeping Angel, which is truly the stuff of nightmares...


If you'd like to check out the full, uncensored segment (which also includes current Twelfth Doctor Peter Capaldi), you can view it below thanks to the official Full Frontal with Samantha Bee account on YouTube...



Posted on June 28, 2016 .

ARCHER Drops ISIS Name for Rather Obvious Reasons


Yuuuup, phrasing.

The Daily Beast has word that in light of recent world events involving the militant Islamic organization once called the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the FX animated spy comedy series Archer is dropping the spy organization name ISIS (short for International Secret Intelligence Service) from the show starting with the upcoming Season 6. 

During the season premiere, Malory Archer (Jessica Walter) is shown talking on the phone with her son Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) and explaining to him that the CIA are now their overlords.  In the background, you can see two movers rolling out a large, circular sign featuring the ISIS logo.

Creator Adam Reed along with executive producers Matt Thompson and Casey Willis made the decision after initial concerns from FX.  "We were waiting for it to go away — at least I was," said Reed.  "Back in Season 5, FX said, ‘This might be a thing,’ and I thought, ‘Maybe it won’t be?  Maybe it’ll be the mole that I’m gonna ignore and nothing will happen.’  We got sort of lucky and could organically make a merger with the CIA, so we went back and retroactively painted out the ISIS logos in parts of the show, and we just don’t talk about it in dialogue."

"We won’t say ISIS anymore, and the only visual representation of it will be that sign rolling off the show," added Thompson.  "It’s just the most awful thing, and we didn’t want to have anything to do with it.  There were people online saying that we should address it and say, ‘Oh, I can’t believe these guys have co-opted our name.’  That’s the way South Park would do it, coming after them and saying, ‘These assholes stole our name,’ but that’s not the way the Archer universe works, where it’s all our own creations.  In our universe, they don’t exist."

The name and logo won't be retroactively removed from Seasons 1 through 5, however, so any repeats on television will still feature ISIS.  In addition, there's still the matter of all that ISIS-related merchandise to address.  "I’m one of the few people that has the white ISIS cup and it’s mixed in with all my other cups," said Walter.  "The other day, I was looking at it and thought, ‘Should I throw it out?  But it reminds me of Archer.’"

Added Reed, "I gave my Dad one of the ISIS hats and he said, ‘You know son, I’m not going to be able to wear the hat anymore.  I’m gettin’ looks at the hardware store.’  I was at a meeting with the FX execs and I said, ‘You know, with all this extra ISIS merchandise, you should just make the bad guys buy it.’  Dead silence.  And then they said, ‘We have a lot of ISIS merchandise.’  So I guess that’s all going to a landfill somewhere."

Archer is expected to return to FX for Season 6 sometime around January 2015.

Posted on October 11, 2014 .

White House Doubles Down on STAR WARS/STAR TREK Gaffe


It's as if a million Trekkies cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

In one of the biggest geek faux pas in recent memory, President Barack Obama used a mixed sci-fi metaphor today while addressing reporters about the budget sequestration that will automatically force drastic budget cuts at midnight.

The President remarked, "I know that this has been some of the conventional wisdom that’s been floating around Washington that somehow, even though most people agree that I’m being reasonable, that most people agree I’m presenting a fair deal, the fact that they don’t take it means that I should somehow, you know, do a Jedi mind meld with these folks and convince them to do what’s right."

And lo, an internet meme was born.

The confusion of mixing up a "Jedi mind trick" from Star Wars with the "Vulcan mind meld" from Star Trek sent Twitter snark engaging at Warp Factor 10.  Star Trek Into Darkness screenwriter Damon Lindelof posted "Obama just said 'Jedi Mindmeld.' That sound you heard was Picard face-palming."  Meanwhile, Leonard Nimoy, the original Spock from Star Trek, added "Only a Vulcan mind meld will help with this congress. LLAP."

Knowing all too well that the only real way to deal with that kind of social gaffe is to own it quickly, the White House tweeted its own comment, posting "We must bring balance to the Force. #Sequester #JediMindMeld pic.twitter.com/lIZlgavhuR" with the image shown above containing a Star Warsish font followed by a classic Star Trek font.  At last, someone besides J.J. Abrams to finally bring Star Wars and Star Trek fans together!

Oh, and the www.whitehouse.gov/jedimindmeld listed at the bottom of the photo?  If you click on it, it brings you to the President's plan to avert the sequester and reduce the federal deficit.

Well played, White House.  Well played.

Posted on March 1, 2013 .

DAMN Good Comics -- SAUCER COUNTRY #1

Back in the day, fans of the classic science-fiction TV series The X-Files were fond of saying "The truth is out there."  Well, this new series from DC Comics' VERTIGO line seems to hint that the truth may actually be at 1 Mansion Drive in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Saucer Country is essentially the high concept of "The X-Files meets The West Wing," starring a fictional Democrat (or perhaps Independent) governor of New Mexico by the name of Arcadia Alvarado.  As the first divorced Hispanic female declaring her intention to run for President of the United States, something sadly unlikely in this current real-life American political climate, Alvarado is haunted by strange blackouts and disturbing flashes she can't explain.  The realization she concludes by the end of the first issue firmly sets the tone for what promises to be an interesting ride.

Writer Paul Cornell, no stranger to the subject of aliens based on his previous work in comics, novels and television, made an intriguing choice to explore the notion of alien abduction by framing it with a political setting.  Brian K. Vaughan and Tony Harris did something similar recently by fusing superheroics with politics in the 50-issue series WildStorm series Ex Machina, but Cornell manages to replicate the appeal of Ex Machina without making it feel derivative.  Based on this first issue, Saucer Country is more than willing to tell its own story with its own set of already fascinating characters.

Apart from Alvarado, Part One of "Run" introduces us to her ex-husband and apparent fellow abductee Michael, her unsettlingly-proper head of security Fausto, her exasperated chief of staff Harry, her blunt Republican campaign adviser Chloe Saunders, and just for kicks, a suspended Harvard University professor of modern folklore named Joshua Kidd who believes in UFOs and seemingly hallucinates a miniature naked man and woman calling themselves "The Pioneer 10 Couple."  Sure, why not.

Co-creator Ryan Kelly handles the art, doing a solid job of making the flashes of alien images feel necessarily disturbing while doing his homework in order to capture real-life locations such as the New Mexico Governor's Mansion.  This first issue asks quite a bit from Kelly in terms of mood changes and tonal shifts, but he moves things along nicely, complementing Cornell's script instead of distracting from it.

There quite a bit to take in here, almost feeling like this issue should've been expanded in page count.  However, it's still a promising start to what will hopefully be a successful series with lots of additional ground to cover if the last page is any indication.  The tease for the next issue claims that "Nothing is real," so if you'll excuse me, I have the sudden urge to listen to "Strawberry Fields Forever" by The Beatles...
Posted on March 15, 2012 .

THE COLBERT REPORT Compares Newt Gingrich to Bond Villain


In his latest "Tip of the Hat/Wag of the Finger" segment featured on last night's episode of The Colbert Report, host Stephen Colbert tipped said hat to current Republican Presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich for "repeatedly alerting the nation to an underreported threat, the electromagnetic pulse."

"Now, Newt is not the only one who is concerned with the coming EMPmageddon," Colbert explained.  "So is Her Majesty's Secret Service."  Colbert then played a clip from the 1995 James Bond film GoldenEye, starring Pierce Brosnan, which showed Bond and his superior M discussing the GoldenEye weapon's ability to create an electromagnetic pulse.

"Yes.  Bond, James Bond...agrees with Gingrich, Newt Gingrich," continued Colbert.  "And just like Bond, Gingrich is calm under pressure, a little cocky, and is frequently seen with different leading ladies.  Plus, his half-million dollar line of credit at Tiffany's proves he knows Diamonds Are Forever."

The Bond comparisons didn't stop there.  "And as David Brooks (of The New York Times) pointed out, Newt has called for '...a permanent lunar colony to exploit the Moon's resources.'  Hmmm...Sounds to me like Newt...is a Moonraker.

"And Newt has also pointed out that '...a mirror system in space could provide the light equivalent of many full moons so that there would be no need for nighttime lighting of the highways.'  Hmmm...Hmmm...Giant solar mirrors also seem familiar..."  At that moment, a scene from another Bond film was shown, with Gustav Graves unveiling his new orbital mirror satellite Icarus that later turns out to be a deadly weapon.  "It's the plot of Die Another Day!"

It then occured to Colbert that all of these schemes were from the villains.  "That means Gingrich isn't Bond...He's Blofeld!" 

Supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld could not be reached for comment from within his secret lair inside an active volcano.  If you'd like to see the full Colbert Report segment, you can view it here.
Posted on December 13, 2011 .

Ten Years of a September 11th America

With everyone with a blog or a column writing about the tenth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on America today, I was trying to think about what I could write that wouldn't be overly sentimental or filled with political nonsense.  I'm sure there'll be plenty of that elsewhere, written by much better writers than myself, but it's hard to talk about September 11th without dwelling on certain things so I hope you'll bear with me a bit.

Like many people, I was at work when I first learned of the September 11th attacks.  The weather was absolutely lovely outside, a beautiful morning, and as I struggled to focus on actual work instead of daydreaming, my mom called me up to tell me what she just saw on the news.  I quickly checked out MSN for more news and had to tell my co-workers what had happened.  Information became paramount and then someone down the hall managed to pull one of the TVs out of a conference room for most of our floor to gather around.

We watched the World Trade Center towers fall, horrified by the sight, and it remained understandably impossible to concentrate for the remainder of the day.  After a few hours of high emotions and complete unproductivity, our oh-so-caring Office Manager at the time kindly passed word along through department managers that people could go home to be with their loved ones if they wished...as long as they used up their vacation time to do so.  I finally left work around 3 p.m., only to come home to find my wife Lori huddled on the couch in front of CNN, where she remained for the better part of an entire week whenever she wasn't at work.

Apart from the incredible and inspiring tales of heroism of police officers, firefighters, paramedics and other responders, the one thing I truly remember about that time was the amazing unity we shared as a country.  For around six months, there wasn't the political partisan rhetoric nonsense that permeates our society today.  We were One Nation, flags waving proudly, focused solely on getting the terrorist bastards responsible for the attacks and making sure we rebuilt our country better and stronger than ever.

And then, predictably enough, we started turning on one another once again.  The emphasis on improving national security so that these kinds of attacks would be prevented in the future gave politicians from both parties the forum they needed to chip away at the freedom that makes America such a wonderful country.  All in the name of safety, you had to stop carrying certain items onto airplanes and allow yourselves to be examined to the point where we now have a Transportation Security Administration that performs detailed body scans or physically frisks you if you fail to comply.

Patriotism and fear were used as political and ideological weapons, transforming any attempts at honest criticism into anti-American hate speech and pushing through agendas specifically designed to monitor and detain citizens found to be suspicious for whatever given reason.  And when our focus shifted away from getting revenge on Osama bin Laden and al-Qaeda to go after Saddam Hussein and Iraq for the second time, half the country rose up and resisted, fully dividing us as a nation once more.  We began fighting two major wars at once, giving the operations an unlimited budget at the expense of other programs because the cause, apparently, was just. 

The promise of change from a highly-criticized Bush Administration ultimately brought fear of what the Obama Adminstration would do once they took office.  For some, President Obama was Not Like Us and he had that middle name Hussein which obviously meant something.  However, most were remained hopeful that change would come and that we could restore America to what it once was before the dark, tragic day of September 11, 2001.

Change, as it turns out, never came.  We continued fighting two wars, maintaning a presence in Iraq long after the objective (whatever that was) was achieved.  Our economy has steadily eroded since 2001, making some wonder if this economic impact, not an initial act of terror, was ultimately bin Laden's goal all along.  And even with finally taking out Osama bin Laden this past May after almost ten years, we still found ourselves involved with getting Moammar Gadhaffi out of Libya.

Fear and war are unfortunately now part of everyday life in this September 11th America, but even though it seems like daily life is a constant struggle, our country still remains as hopeful as ever.  We want something better for ourselves, for our children, and that is why America continues to endure.  So on this tenth anniversary, remember the important things from September 11th.  Remember the heroism, remember the determination and resiliency, and most of all, remember the sense of unity we once shared.  That's the America I believe in.
Posted on September 11, 2011 .

The Right Renounces Superman Renouncing U.S. Citizenship


In Action Comics #900, on sale this week, Superman decides to renounce his U.S. citizenship and predictably enough, the right-wing of American politics experiences a collective conniption over it.

Now, the story featuring such ideological blasphemy doesn't appear in the main story featured in the DC Comics series starring Superman, which was written by regular series writer Paul Cornell.  Neither does it appear in the following backup story by Lost series writer Damon Lindelof, nor the one after that by Batman: The Animated Series writer Paul Dini, nor even the one after that by DC's Chief Creative Officer, Geoff Johns.

No, the statement in question doesn't appear until the fourth backup story, "The Incident," by David S. Goyer, writer of the Blade and Christopher Nolan-directed Batman films.  In the story, Superman is called to Camp David by the President's National Security Advisor, Gabriel Wright, who sharply criticizes the Man of Steel for standing around in the middle of a very real world-based public protest against the Ahmadinejad regime currently controlling the nation of Iran and using his mere intimidating presence to discourage violence.

So right there, you're probably wondering something like "Wait...Ahmadinejad bad, Superman good...What's the problem here?"  Well, the Iranian government accuses Superman of acting on the President's behalf, calling his interference an Act of War.  Realizing his actions (or inactions, as the case may be) were "foolish," Superman informs Wright that he intends to speak before the United Nations and tell them that he's renouncing his United States citizenship so that his actions will not be construed as instruments of U.S. policy.  "Truth, justice and the American way," he says, "It's not enough anymore."

In the immortal words of Carl Lewis...Uh oh!

Faster than a speeding bullet, word of this one plot point in a small backup story by a non-regular Superman writer circulated throughout the neocon-sphere, hitting major conservative media outlets such as Fox News and The Rush Limbaugh Show.  This, of course, caused very sane and rational comments such as these from their followers:

"Well the bass tard is an illegal alien.  Deport him to Krypton."

"I won't buy another superman comic.  I'm sick of this leftist, liberal, PC garbage."

"And just one more bit of Americana that the self-loathing liberal cretins have ruined.  Just like everything they smear their slimy hands across."

My take on all this drama?  Personally, I find it absolutely ridiculous to see comments resembling "I'm outrageously outraged and swearing off Superman forever" from people who haven't read comic books in at least twenty years (if ever) and seem to think that Marvel Comics publishes Superman.  Enough of them apparently, to make Tom Brevoort, Marvel's Senior Vice President of Publishing, go on Twitter and post "Superman renounces his U.S. citizenship, and Marvel is bombarded with angry e-mails. What's up with that, @DCNation?"

Also, the story in question took place in a self-contained backup written by David Goyer, who isn't even writing a monthly Superman title for DC Comics.  That means the citizenship issue has little to no bearing on the book and the issue of Superman being an American citizen rarely comes up anyway, making this essentially a non-issue for the character. Besides, just because Superman renounced his citizenship doesn't mean that Clark Kent did.  If anything, this could potentially help Clark keep his secret identity a little better, by using the citizenship difference to distance himself from his Superman identity.

In the meantime, I don't think Superman fans have heard the last of this.  Rush Limbaugh has yet to weigh in on the matter, since conservative political commentator Mark Steyn has been filling in for him the past two days.  And where Limbaugh goes, so do the neocons traditionally, so if nothing else, it should give friendly neighborhood comic shops some extra sales over the controversy and the writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report some fresh and entertaining material.
Posted on April 29, 2011 .

Job Center Cancels Campaign Giving Capes to Unemployed


It seems Dr. Evil Unemployment will have to be defeated another day.

Earlier today, the job center Workforce Central Florida announced that they are "withdrawing (their) admittedly out-of-the-box" campaign known as "Cape-A-Bility Challenge" that would hand out superhero-style capes to prospective job-seekers in an attempt to make them feel better about themselves.

This move is just nine days after the campaign was launched and quickly received considerable criticism.  According to the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, Workforce Central Florida apparently spent $14,200 on the 6,000 capes, almost 20% of the campaign's budget.  In addition, WCF was planning to spend $24,700 on media buys, $15,000 for billboards and $5,000 on social media.  Just $2,000 would go for prizes to participating job-seekers and employers.

As part of the superhero theme, WCF created a cartoon character named "Dr. Evil Unemployment" as the nemesis to be defeated by participating in the campaign.  WCF's statement on the campaign today said, "Even though it seemed to offend some, it was the farthest thing from our intention which was to introduce our programs and services to job seekers and employers who need them. The decision was made today by our volunteer board leadership team in concern that the campaign may have been a little too out-of-the-box and missed the mark with such a broad audience.  Fortunately, we’ve achieved some success in the short week and a half the campaign has run, including new job postings online, new job candidates registered for services and an increase in usage of our website."

On Monday, Florida's unemployment agency director asked for an investigation of the regional operation's spending after the Orlando Sentinel published a story about the program.  State director Cynthia Lorenzo said the spending seemed to be "insensitive and wasteful."

WCF has since taken down the campaign gallery from its website but you can access a cached version at the Orlando Sentinel here.
Posted on April 20, 2011 .

And There Will Come a Day, When THE AVENGERS Films in Cleveland

 
At least our idiot Governor, John Kasich, got this one right.

The Plain Dealer reported yesterday that Governor Kasich has announced that the upcoming film adaptation of Marvel Comics' The Avengers, scheduled for release in 2012, will be partially filmed in Cleveland, Ohio.  This news follows after The Avengers production pulled out of Detroit, Michigan in February after producers couldn't get confirmation that they would still qualify for Michigan tax incentives.

The Avengers, directed by geek god Joss Whedon, is the culmination of an incredibly ambitious masterplan incorporating actors and characters from the films Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger.  Recent rumors concerning the film's plotline claim that the villain Loki (introduced in Thor) will be the architect of the scheme that brings the Avengers together, just as he was in the team's first appearance in The Avengers (vol.1) #1.  However, Loki will instead use the Cosmic Cube (introduced in Captain America: The First Avenger) to bring the shape-shifting aliens known as the Skrulls to Earth for an invasion.

Wayne Hill, chairman of the Greater Cleveland Film Commission, claims that The Avengers will be the largest film ever made in Ohio and that filming is expected to start sometime this fall.  The truly important news here is that this will means jobs and an economic boost for the Cleveland area, which has been hurting badly over the past several years.

And in my own admitted self-interest, I just want to know if they're going to need any filming extras for crowd scenes or whatever.  I have some prior experience as an extra in The Adventures of Superboy episode "Roads Not Taken, Part 2," so if anybody knows anything about extra work on The Avengers, please drop me a line, okay?
Posted on March 4, 2011 .

Should the U.S. Government Subsidize Time Travel Research?


Okay, the way you hear many politicians going on about the United States budget on various news shows and whatnot, we really shouldn't be spending federal tax dollars on...well...anything.  But as we all know, no matter who's in executive or legislative power, we're still going to find a way to keep on spending no matter what.  We're Americans...We love to buy stuff. 

So presuming America finds another way to get its credit card limits raised again or cuts out something obviously useless like Medicare coverage or Social Security payments, should that new source of funds go toward time-travel research?  Tyler Cowen over at Marginal Revolution ponders that very question, in an article titled Should we subsidize or tax research into time travel?  His reasoning:

I believe no one understands the underlying science much at all.  But there is some chance that the old science fiction movies are correct and that by time-traveling you alter the course of history, thereby obliterating the universe we used to have.  I'll count that as a net negative, while noting there is some chance we end up with a better universe.

On the plus side, the human race will die out anyway.  Time travel seems to yield a fairly safe haven.  As disaster approaches, keep going back in time a few days, or decades, and that asteroid will never hit you.  This is especially appealing if you are transporting back a body (upload?) which is programmed to be more or less immortal and you can take the technology with you, so as to keep on going back as time progresses.

On one side: immortal life for many of the last humans and thus immortality for the human race.  And with time they may learn how to thwart the asteriod.(sic)  On the other side: some probability of swapping universes.

There are certainly those issues of national security to consider.  After all, if time travel was possible, we could go back in time and prevent things like JFK's assassination, the Oklahoma City bombing, or the 9/11 destruction of the World Trade Center.  Not to mention it would be an effective deterrent against future aggressive actions against our country, which could be rewritten and erased in some sort of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey fashion.  If you thought that bombing someone with a nuclear weapon was effective at keeping them from invading you, imagine what preventing their leaders from being born could do.

Oh, and don't forget the economic advantages as well.  That 777-point drop of the Dow Jones market in September of 2008?  Prevented with a stock trading software patch.  Bernie Madoff's investment scandal?  Can't happen in Madoff gets hit by that car that missed him when he was sixteen.  Hell, funding time travel research will pay for itself in no time.

Okay, sure, there may some questions we need to answer.  Do we really want to give our government the ability to erase people from history?  Or change the historical outcomes of other nations?  Or alter the results of our own elections?  Or tell Sarah Palin not to do that interview with Katie Couric?  Definitely things that need proper consideration.

But think about one thing...If we don't start funding time travel research, what will happen to America if other countries start funding it themselves...?

(Cue the Doctor Who cliffhanger sting music)
Posted on January 14, 2011 .