Early in 2018, I realized I was about to turn 50. To say I reacted strongly would be an understatement. I was in shock. I was devastated. Angry. Scared. Hopeless. I took to my bed. About 6 months later, I forced myself out of bed. I had wasted my adult life hiding in fear. I couldn’t get those years back, but I could try to salvage the years I had left. I challenged myself to do 50 brave things before I turned 51. As I worked through the numbers on my list, I found strength I never knew I possessed. I found the hope that I had lost. I found freedom from my past. I found the will to push past my fear and finally live. This is the story of my year of living dangerously.
Here’s the first episode from our free podcast. The rest of the episodes are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, and anywhere you normally subscribe to podcasts.
This is where my journey to bravery began. To break out of my fear and heal my life, I challenged myself to do 50 brave things in one year (my 50th). It wasn't easy. Trauma needed to be healed and fears had to be overcome. In this episode, I share the first three numbers on my list.
Here are some sample episodes of the Patreon-Only show my husband and I post for our Patreon subscribers. We give further background into the story of each episode and include the spouse's perspective. Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Let me know what you think!
If you want to become a patron, follow this link: Patreon @brokentobrave
Finding beauty in the world around me helped me to see the beauty in myself. It taught me to see that broken is beautiful, that cracks in us won't be restored, and that we can't go back to what we once were, yet we can create something even better. We can become strong in our broken places and beauty can come up through the cracks. It taught me that when we allow ourselves the grace we extend to others, we find healing. This is number 12 on my list... Found Beauty in All Things.
I listened to the tape recorder in my head that repeated what my abusers used to tell me. As a result, I allowed the voices of the people who surrounded me and truly loved me to be drowned out. My therapist had me do an exercise where I asked people to tell me my most positive qualities in order for me to realize that what I had been hearing and believing wasn’t true about me. It was their insecurity, jealousy, etc. projected onto me. This was an absolutely terrifying exercise. It was embarrassing and personal and awkward. I knew I had to do it in order to heal and that’s how I found myself doing number 26 on my list... Accepted Positive Personal Feedback.
Some of the items are very straightforward and there’s a clear reason it’s on the list. For this one, there are so many reasons. I had to get past the financial fears, taking resources for myself, going somewhere alone, wearing workout clothes in public, and on and on which is why I did number 30 on the list... Rejoined the Gym.
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