Quote of the Week - Week of April 17





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.



The 100 -
1. Monty: "Following the creepy music is a bad idea."
2. Emerson: "You murdered 381 people. You took the lives of my children, my brother, my friends. Did you really think that I would be happy with just one life in return?"
3. Jasper: "Remember when you told me it gets better." Octavia: "This is not the same thing." Jasper: "You know it's okay to fall apart a little, Octavia. You loved him." Octavia: "A warrior doesn't mourn the dead until the war is over."



Bates Motel -
1. Norma: “Alex! It’s funny, you and I. Isn’t it? That we’re here and we’re happy, that after everything we’ve made it. And you’re going off to work and kissing me, and it’s like I’m watching a movie, but it’s not a movie.” Alex: “It’s not a movie. Don’t screw it up.” (Alexandra Stillwell)
2. Norma: “I can’t get Caleb killed, and I can’t kill you so I’m screwed. I’m screwed! You got me! All I wanted was my freaking window fixed, and now you’re gonna destroy my life! So just go right ahead. Just go right the hell ahead!" (Alexandra Stillwell)
3. Norma: “So now you know who you’re married to and I should have told you before, but I’ve never loved anyone enough to feel obligated to be honest with them and It sucks. It sucks because I can’t hide and I want to, but I can’t. And Chick found out. He met Caleb when he was up at the farm working with Dylan. He just figured it out. And he has issues with my brother, and he was trying to find him, and he told me that if I didn’t help him that he would tell you all of this, that he would spread it around town and that he would humiliate you. So..so I don’t know. Just go pack your bag. Alex: “Okay…….Where we going?” (Alexandra Stillwell)



The Big Bang Theory -
1. Sheldon: "Are you up to date on Game of Thrones?" Penny: "Uhn, I think so. Dragons, snow zombies, and all the hot guys are dead."
2. Penny: "I don't always defend Sheldon." Leonard: "Oh yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister, Elliot-ET relationship with him." Penny: "What about your weird relationship with him?" Leonard: "That's different. I'm like the little girl in Poltergeist and he's the creepy thing in the TV."
3. Sheldon: "Interesting fact. In Italian, the morta in mortadella means death." Amy: "Sheldon!" Sheldon: "I didn't say fun fact. I'm not a monster."



The Blacklist -
1. Red: "You could tell where Safar was standing when the vest blew. It was like a perfect circle of death. There was almost nothing left of the people closest to him - seventeen dead, 46 injured - blown to pieces. The closer they were to the bomber, the more horrific the effect." Woman: "Stop." Red: "That's every suicide, every single one. An act of terror perpetrated against everyone who's ever known you, everyone who's ever loved you. The people closest to you, the ones who cherish you, are the ones who suffer the most pain, the most damage. Why would you do that? Why would you do that to people who love you?"
2. Red: "She'll need protection." Tom: "Only if you're in her life. Go. Stay away. I won't let you make the same mistake with her that you made with Liz."
3. Red: "I would give anything to be a part of that child's life but a man made it clear I would never see her, hold her, watch her grow and I knew in that moment I would never be any part of that beautiful little girl's life because…" Woman: "He was her father." Red: "And to harm him would be to harm her, a mortal sin. Her mother is gone. The father is what she has left in the world."



Brooklyn 99 -
1. Guard: "Code silver. Can't let you out." Bob: "Look, you have to help me. I'm an FBI agent." Gina: "I am Serena Williams." Holt: "I'm sorry. They both suffer from grandiose delusional disorder. GDD." Bob: "I've been taken hostage here." Gina: "And I'm supposed to be at Wimbledon. It's my serve!" Bob: "No, no, no, I am not crazy." Holt: "Yes, he is, deeply. We need to transfer them both to a secure psychiatric facility. Serena here just bit off a doctor's nose." Gina: "It tasted delicious." Guard: "Yeah, you can go." Bob: "No, no, call the FBI." Gina: "No, call Venus! Call Venus!" (Laura Markus)
2. Holt: "When I die, please give Kevin my regards." Bob: "What shall I tell him?" Holt: "Regards." (Laura Markus)
3. Holt: "Wow, betraying the FBI is one thing, but sarcasm, Bob? Wow." (Laura Markus)



The Catch -
1. Ben: "She'll have to help." Felicity: "But I'm a killer, not a thief." Margot: "Oh, nobody's perfect."
2. Alice: "I brought apology coffee but only because it's too early for apology bourbon."
3. Ben: "Is there any legitimate guests at this party?" Felicity: "Who are these people?" Ben: "The competition." Margot: "Is every crime syndicate in town after this bracelet?"



Containment -
1. Xander: "My girl is in there." Alex: "So is mine. If I let you through that barrier, I'm risking your life and if we let anyone out, we're risking the lives of everyone in this city. I can't be that person. I can't let you be that person. You understand me?"
2. Katie: "Don't ever have kids. Unless you do, in which case, sorry."
3. Katie: "I share custody with his dad's parents. Long story. Tonight's their night." Jake: "You're under lockdown." Katie: "You'd think that would make a difference, huh?"



The Flash -
1. Common Sense…er, Wells: "I have an idea, Allen. Let's keep the breaches closed. Forever. Forget about the breaches. Forget about Zoom." Barry: "Wait. I'm sorry. I thought that you were on board with this." Wells: "Nope, nope, I said that I would help you get faster. I did not say I would help you give the man who kidnapped my daughter and tortured her a chance to do it again." Iris: "Hey, we are not gonna let that happen." Wells: "Oh, you're not gonna let that happen. Gosh, I wish I'd known that the first time."
2. Cisco: "Well the best plan we've come up with so far is to set off a nuclear warhead next to the city's electrical grid…so…" Barry: "We're not going to do that."
3. Barry: "You were there with me when I learned how to run on water, when I ran up a building, or traveled through time. Just like I'm gonna be there every step of the way with you. You've got something that Reverb never had and that's Kaitlin and Joe and Iris and Wells and me. Friends. We're gonna look out for you…and we're more than just friends. We're your family."



The Goldbergs -
1. Cogan: "Your hair suggests you don't know what you're doing with your life."
2. Murray: "Just because you broke up with the guy doesn't mean you gotta break up with the band."
3. Barry: "See that. Adam's photo's twice the size of ours." Beverly: "This is a misunderstanding. The photo guy made it the wrong size and I couldn't return it." Barry: "Please. I've seen you return a dead goldfish, used Chapstick, and a bathing suit Dad wore for 10 straight days in Puerto Rico."



Heartbeat -
1. Alex: "It's so unfair you know me so well." Lou: "Well it was either specialize in you or become addicted to soap operas. I made a choice."
2. Alex: "What's the matter with your arm?" Dwayne: "Oh just a mild strain from the effort of not wringing your neck."
3. Callahan: "Would you like to have breakfast with a surgical god?" Ji-Sung: "I didn't hear anything on the news about hell freezing over so no."



Hunters -
1. McCarthy: "There you are, lurking like trolls in a Reddit chat room."
2. Regan: "There something you want to say?" Flynn: "Not to you." Regan: "Fine then, I'll say it for you. I don't know what planet I come from or how I was born. I don't have any antenna except on my car. I get a weird skin thing every few months. I cried when I saw ET and no, my lady parts do not feel different than a humans, but you knew that already." Flynn: "That's a damn lie. My wife is NOT one of you. We were married 6 years. Believe me, I'd know."
3. Finnerman: "So we hand over Slavich's body in return for what? A chat? I've got my Twitter feed for that."



Limitless -
1. Naz: "How the hell did this happen?" Boyle: "Brewster knew we were bringing all the conspirators to the CJC for questioning and he used his credential to gain access to the motor pool. Rigged some type of explosive device beneath their van. It's a massacre. Everyone Brewster rounded up." Brian: "That's half of Morra's core people." Rebecca: "He had us do their work." Brian: "So they could slaughter them." (Laura Markus)
2. Rebecca: "Then what? So you're taking NZT that could be laced with God knows what, and you're working with some guy named Grover. Grover's a Muppet's name, Brian. How am I supposed to present this to Naz? Or to the DEA? And if you are buying or selling NZT, then they'll arrest you. I'm in an impossible situation." (Laura Markus)
3. Brian: "Brewster is one of them. I think he was on NZT, but he hid it so well. No accelerated speech patterns, no tells whatsoever. But it's the only thing that makes sense. [...] All those people he gave up? Sands' Legion of Whatever? None of them worked for Sands." Naz: "Then who are they?" Brian: "Well, that's what I stayed up all night trying to figure out, all right? I have a model in the back of the car, let me-" Rebecca: "Brian! Who are they?" Brian: "They're Morra's people. His last remaining operatives. The people who were in Sands' way." Rebecca: "How did we miss this? " Brian: "Because you didn't have anyone there to call it out. You didn't have anyone on NZT. And I kind of hate to say it, but you didn't have me." (Laura Markus)



Lucifer -
1. Maze: "Look, I've had a lot of sex. With men. And women. I mean, a lot." Amenadiel: "Okay, point made." (Laura Markus)
2. Lucifer: "Why would I be happy? I'm not evil. I punish evil." Malcolm: "Yeah, but, but you're, you know-"
Lucifer: "The Devil, yes. And you think you know who that is, don't you? The whole world does. A torturer, maybe. An inflictor of just desserts, sure. But a senseless murderer I am not. Perhaps I need to clarify my position." (Laura Markus)
3. Mitch: "Look, mate, the Devil ain't gonna buy me an Aston Martin." Lucifer: "Well, not with that attitude, he won't." (Laura Markus)



The Real O'Neals -
1. Kenny: "Picked last again. The only difference between gay dodge ball and straight dodge ball is that I'm wearing someone else's shorts." (Laura Markus)
2. Pat: "Ready for your first gay coffee shop?" Kenny: "I was born ready. In this case, literally. [...] I'm not ready. I mean, this is my first time in the gay part of town. What if they judge me? Am I wearing the right outfit? Should I have hit the gym before? Is there a gym inside the coffee shop?" (Laura Markus)
3. Jimmy: "Can we leave, too?" Eileen: "No! You and Shannon have to stay here and help me with book club." Jimmy: "Of all times not to be gay or divorcing you." (Laura Markus)



Rush Hour -
1. Gerald: "Where's your stuff?" Lee: "I don't have any stuff." Gerald: "What do you mean you don't have any stuff? This is America. We love stuff." Lee: "I know. My country makes that stuff."
2. Krieg: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're gonna Indiana Jones me here?" Carter: "You bet your a** we are." Krieg: "You are betting my a*, detective. You are literally betting my a**." Carter: "Hey, it worked in the movie." Krieg: "No it didn't." Carter: "It did for a second. I seen the movie and it worked a little bit. Now shut the hell up."
3. Carter: "Yes Councilman Kevin Bacon, he's a firm supporter of your right to dance."



Scorpion -
1. Happy: "Today! It's weights and measures, not wait forever."
2. Toby: "Medically speaking, he's nuttier than peanut brittle."
3. Cabe: "We already said that was a bad thing, right?" Toby: "It will be Chernobyl 2: The Sequel. Nine out of 10 sequels are worse than the original."



Stitchers -
1. Linus: "I love my Time Lords as much as the next guy, but I need 8 hours of man sleep." Camille: "Sounds like an episode of nerd love."
2. Fisher: "I know that look. We've got a runner." Kirsten: "That means he's guilty, right?" Fisher: "Of something. Possibly of just being an idiot."
3. Linus: "Well that'll give us about 23 minutes by the time she jumps out of bed to the time she arrives at the lab and then breaks her foot off in our a**. Cameron: "Fortunately for us, there are four of us and she only has 2 feet so half of us will survive." Camille: "What's she gonna do? Fire us?" Linus: "Well not if she kills us first."



Underground -
1. Sam: "I wanna tell you something that my Pa told me. Just cause you got to play dumb, don't you ever, ever let them make you think you really is." (Prpleight)





Wynonna Earp -
1. Doc: "I do not recall what lie I told you. I was probably drunk." Wynonna: "It was 8 am." Doc: "I was definitely drunk."
2. Wynonna: "Yeah but if I take him out…" Dolls: "Then you'll die in a hail of gunfire." Wynonna: "Blaze of glory." Dolls: "More like a blaze of stupidity."
3. Wynonna: "Isn't this the part where you say you love me too?" Waverly: "You know, you're awfully needy for a lone wolf."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
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