Quote of the Week - Week of May 24





A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.


Aquarius -
1. Sam: "You're either asking me to join the Nation of Islam or telling me to dress better."
2. Brian: "Don't touch me unless you love me."
3. Sam: "And the young genius never wondered why I went to look for a payphone with the radio in the car? Yep, this country's gonna be in good hands."
4. Brian: "So that lie was incredibly stupid." Sam: "Most murders we're not exactly dealing with Goldfinger."
5. Mike: "Would you please be careful? It's a Martin." Sam: "It's a knockoff."
6. Sam: "You want to see scary, keep your foot right where it is."



Battle Creek -
1. Meredith: "I work with people who have sex in rooms monitored by cameras. Keeping secrets clearly isn't their strong suit."
2. Font: "The Feds wouldn't tell me anything, but Google did."
3. Milt: "No, no, no, don't do it. He's not FBI. He's local police. He's got nothing to do with this." Brock: "I know. Go. Walk." Milt: "Just go, Russ. Do what he says." Russ: "I'm not going anywhere. You're my partner."
4. Milt: "Just relax. Let me handle this." Russ: "Relax? What do you mean? Like you handled everything back at the motel? What, are you crazy?" Milt: "I wasn't expecting him." Russ: "What do you mean you weren't expecting him? We were there specifically looking for him. What are you talking about?"
5. Russ: "Milt, you and I have been staking out your apartment for the past 3 hours and you haven't seen him, which means he's not stalking you anymore, which means maybe it's time we start stalking him."
6. Milt: "Take it. You have every right to want to kill me. I deserve to die. Your son was a good kid. He was a really good kid and if I thought for one second it would bring him back, I would take that gun, I would put it to my head, and I would pull the trigger. Hell if I thought I would give you just a moment of peace that would be reason enough, but it won't. So the only thing that I can do is the thing that I've done for the last 6 years. I want to balance the scales. I want to do enough good in my life to try to outweigh the bad, but I doubt I'll ever get close. I'd like to keep trying, but I don't have the right to demand that time. You've earned the right to stop me."



Bones -
1. Warren: “We’re kind of good at this, aren't we?” Aubrey: “Booth and Brennan 2.0? I mean, except for the being married and babies part.” Warren: “Or having any kind of sex at all.” Aubrey: "“Right. Obviously. Up here with the fiberglass and the heavy breathing…” Warren: “I meant anywhere.” Aubrey: "“Right.” (Sharon Seymour)



Game of Thrones -
1. High Sparrow: "What will we find when we strip away your finery? A young man came to us, not long ago; broken in body and spirit. He had so much to strip away, so much weighing him down. But piece by piece he unburdened himself. Let go of vanity, pride, sin. Now his soul is so light, he will float through the seven heavens like a bird. And he has much to say about you.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Daenerys: "Get him out of my sight." Jorah: "Khaleesi please, I just need a moment of your time. I brought you a gift." Tyrion: "It's true, he has." Daenerys: "Who are you?" Tyrion: "I am the gift. It's a pleasure to meet you, your grace. My name is Tyrion Lannister.” (Nirat Anop and Milo MJ)
3. Samwell: "At the wall, a dozen Lord Commanders came and went during his years of service, but he was always there to counsel them. He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch is ended.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Cersei: "I would do anything for you. Anything to keep you from harm. I would burn cities to the ground. You’re all that matters. You and your sister." (Nirat Anop)
5. Cersei: "I am the Queen! Look at my face, it’s the last thing you’ll see before you die." (Nirat Anop)
6. Margaery: "Get out, you hateful bitch!" (Nirat Anop)
7. Olenna: ""You should have the decency to stand when you speak to a lady." Sparrow: ""You should have the decency to kneel before the gods." Olenna: ""Don't spar with me, little fellow." Sparrow: ""For me, it's the knees. You?" Olenna: "Hips." (Sharon Seymour and Sandi)
8. Olenna "If it's equality you want, so be it. When House Tyrell stops sending our crops to the capital, everyone here will starve. And I'll make sure the hungry know who's to blame." High Sparrow "Have you ever sowed the field, Lady Olenna? Have you ever reaped the grain? Has anyone in House Tyrell? A lifetime of wealth and power has left you blind in one eye. You are the few, we are the many. And when the many stop fearing the few..." {He walks away) (Sandi)



iZombie -
1. Major: "You want to feel better about your mental health? Spend a couple days with some clinically insane people." Peyton: "I do it every Thanksgiving.” (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
2. Liv: "How does it feel to finally know the truth?" Major: "Better." (Nirat Anop)
3. Ravi "Well, in the meantime, I don't want you to do anything crazy, like think you can fly and jump off a building or try and assassinate the President. Or ruin my date tonight. You're not gonna go all Single Very White Female on me, are you? You know, cut your hair like Peyton, try and crawl into bed with me?" (Sandi)
4. Clive: "Let's talk about Scott E. I heard you two would, um consort together." Brie: "If by "consort" you mean "screw," then sure, we "consorted" like bunny rabbits." (Sandi)
5. Major "I've got to show you something. Don't freak out, all right? I wasn't crazy. No one else is here, right? Peyton?" Liv "Just us." Major "It's the world that's crazy, and I've got proof. Zombies are real, Liv. These coolers are full of brains. Now, it's a lot to absorb, I know, but I will explain everything. And don't worry, 'cause I'm gonna kill them. I'm gonna kill them all." (Sandi)
6. Ravi: "Then this chicken did not die in vain." Peyton: "I can almost taste the crushed dreams of Dungan rebels." (Dahne)
7. Major: "So I'm gonna guess that no one's going to let me watch Harvey either. Some real Jimmy Stewart haters here." (Dahne)
8. Liv: "Your hair is fine." Johnny: "Oh my vanity is the issue, not your breaking and entering." (Dahne)
9. Liv: "I told myself that at least Major would be safe if he stopped hunting down the Candyman and checked himself into that hospital. Turns out it's a great place to get yourself murdered and learn about zombies." Ravi: "You know removing the porcelain from that dish isn't gonna help, Liv." (Dahne)
10. Ravi: "Hey I just think it's funny that you wear these tiny shorts and then 10 pairs of socks cause you're cold." Peyton: "Oh, do you have a problem with my tiny shorts?" Ravi: "Oh no, none what so ever. Your socks to shorts ratio is bloody brilliant." (Dahne)
11. Julien: "I can smell the weed in here. You want to try to find it." Blaine: "It's not worth the effort now that the state's gone legal. This whole neighborhood's about to get a contact high." (Dahne)



Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell -
1. Segundus "You were in my dream." Jonathan "The dream, sir, was mine. I lay down here on purpose to dream it. I'm rather of the opinion that in England, a gentleman's dreams are his own private concern." (Sandi)
2. Norrell "I fear I am sending you to the war unprepared." Jonathan "In which case I wonder if I might take some books with me?" Norrell "Books?" Jonathan "I fear I shall need books, if I am to perform magic. I should not imagine I would need to take more than about 40." Norrell "40!" Pole "Yes, you couldn't carry more than 40." Norrell "Carry them about?! No! No, they must be in a library. No, you must put them in a library in a castle. It is so very dirty abroad." Pole "They shall be little use to him in a library, sir. He will be in camps and on battlefields and so must they." Norrell "Can, can, can we not have some sort of, iron box made?" (Sandi)
3. Lady Pole "I should warn you, I have made many attempts to tell people of what has been done and I have not yet succeeded. In 1607, there was a silversmith named Redshaw who lived in the Kingdom of Halifax, West Yorkshire, who inherited a Turkish rug." (She struggles to say the correct words) "He woke to find the carpet covered in legions of tiny people, about two inches high. They rode white polecats and were battling with knives and forks.....I'm sorry, that is not what I meant to say." Stephen "Madam, may I implore you deeply to say nothing of what you've heard here today? When anyone new comes to the house, Lady Pole is excited to these outlandish speeches. It is of great distress to Sir Walter that anyone should know of this private grief." Lady Pole "I hope they will let you come again, Mrs. Strange. I see no-one. Or rather I see roomfuls of people and not a Christian amongst them." (Sandi)



The Messengers -
1. Nadia: "So you open that envelope yet?" Peter: "Nope. I appreciate it, really, but I kinda got a new family now." Nadia: "Yeah, I don't blame you."
2. Alan: "V says that nobody can fly yet everybody has wings, which is kind of a waste."
3. Vera: "You know maybe the stone glows red because of her evil actions." Alan: "Like a messenger mood ring?"
4. Vera: "If it's between throwing a brick or dying, I'm throwing the brick."
5. Alan: "Just one last thing. You sure you're not aliens?"



Mr. Robot -
1. Cryptic Man: "Let me tell you why you're really here. You're here because you sense something wrong with the world, something you can't explain, but you know it controls you and everyone you care about." Elliot: "What are you talking about?" Cryptic Man: "Money. Money hasn't been real since we've got off the gold standard. It's become virtual, software, the operating system of our world and Elliot, we are on the verge of taking down this virtual reality."
2. Cryptic Man: "Our encryption is the real world."
3. Ollie: "I feel like things have been awkward between us. Don't you?" Elliot: "I'm okay with it being awkward between us."
4. Cryptic Man: "You don't take down a conglomerate by shooting them in the heart. That's the thing about conglomerates. They don't have hearts. You take them down limb by limb. As they unravel, their illusion of control unravels."
5. Angela: "You didn't have to stick up for me in there. I know that you were just trying to help, just don't do it again. Even if I'm losing, just let me lose okay?"



Orphan Black -
1. Felix: "Now, you need bangs. Bangs that say 'unhappy, sexless marriage." (Tonya Papanikolas, Sandi, and Nirat Anop)
2. Marci: “That’s an interesting choice…may not work for out conservative voters.” Alison: “Oh was that an intolerant remark?” Marci: “Your mother, for instance, is very conservative and she is supporting me.” Felix: “We’re going to dismantle that bitch.” (Nirat Anop and Mark Ondo)
3. Helena: “Why is everyone so worried about my baby?” Mrs S: “Why don’t you tell me how you plan to raise this child.” Helena: “I will find my boyfriend.” Mrs S: “I didn't know you had a boyfriend.” Helena: “He is named Jesse. Together we will drive tow trucks and make a home for our babies.” Mrs S: “He sounds like an honest man." (Nirat Anop and Sandi)
4. Mrs S: “I’m so sorry for what I did. Please forgive me. I got you, Helena it’s okay. You're with family now.” (Nirat Anop)
5. Alison: “You know what I’m going to win this election and I’m recycling this.” (Nirat Anop)
6. Felix: “Jesus Christ, you need to relax okay. I know Alison’s got a cactus up her ass but you're over clenching.” (Nirat Anop)
7. Helena: “Holy Frikkin Christmas Cake.” (Nirat Anop and Mark Ondo)
8. Cosima: “As a lesbian… Supporter.” (Nirat Anop and Sandi)
9. Alison: “I will be your Mother Hen and I will chick our chicks together.” (Nirat Anop)
10. Alison: [reads text] “Oh.. Cosima needs my pee.” Felix: “What do you mean she needs your pee? What for?” Alison: “I don’t know.. Science? I.. don’t know. If she wants it, she can come get it.“ (Mark Ondo)



Outlander -
1. Claire: "You are my husband, James Fraser. How dare you give up on me now? You swore to me. You promised me the protection of your body if need be. Well Randall had your body but I’ll be damned if he has your soul as well. You’re mine and we are meant to be together! It’s the only explanation I have for all this. It’s the only way I can wrap my mind around what happened all these past months. It’s all been for you and me. But if you take away the one last thing that makes sense to me, and I will die. With you. Right here now.” Jamie: "Mo Nighean Donn. How can you have me like this?” Claire: "I will have you any way I can. Always.” (Nirat Anop)
2. Claire: "Are you happy?” Jamie: "I never thought I’d be able to say such a thing again, but yes. Yes! Yes! I’m verra happy indeed, Sassenach!" (Nirat Anop)
3. Monk: "How marvelous, extraordinary. A miracle, perhaps." Claire: "A miracle? Somehow I don't think canon law is constructed with my situation in mind." Monk: "True, but our Lord sees the truth in all things, and so he knows your truth as well. Whatever your sins may be, have faith it will be forgiven." (Nirat Anop)


Penny Dreadful -
1. Victor: "So, women wear corsets so they don't exert themselves?" Lily: "Partly." Victor: "What would be the danger if they did?" LIly: "They'd take over the world." (Sharon Seymour)



Wayward Pines -
1. Theresa: “Am I getting pulled.. was I speeding?” Ben: “I don’t think so. Grandma drives faster than you.” (Nirat Anop and Milo MJ)
2. Ethan: “Where is my wife and son?” Nurse Pam: “Ssh. You just missed them. Don’t worry I made them all better.” Ethan: “Where are they?” Nurse Pam: “Well I’m sure they’re safe and sound at home and aren’t you lucky that one of the best places in WP freed up last night hmm. Prior occupant had a sudden sore throat if you know what I mean. Oh and I am speaking more as a poet than a nurse when I say that.” (Nirat Anop)
3. Nurse Pam: “Listen Mr. Burke we just want you to have a happy life here in Wayward Pines.” (Nirat Anop)
4. Nurse Pam: “This is no ordinary town, this is an extraordinary town.” (Nirat Anop)
5. Ethan: “Just stay away from my family or I’m going to kill ya.” Sheriff Pope: “This is my town.” Nurse Pam: “Alright boys, let's not escalate.” (Nirat Anop)
6. Kate: “The only way to stay alive here is to play along.” (Nirat Anop)
7. Sheriff Pope: “You think you want to know the truth? But ya don’t, it’s worse than anything you could even imagine.” (Nirat Anop)



Young and Hungry -
1. Gabi: "I realized you were right. I've been acting like some lovesick girl in a rom-com instead of following my dreams. I'm not Julia Roberts. I'm Julia Child."
2. D'Arby: "I hope this cow was slaughtered more humanely than you just slaughtered the French language."
3. Cooper: "I can accept us not being together. What I can't accept is the way I acted at the karaoke bar. I need you to know that I'm better than that." Gabi: "Of course you are. You know if you weren't than I wouldn't have fallen in love with you and I never meant to hurt you."
4. Gabi: "You need to stop fighting alright because you're bad at it and it's embarrassing."
5. Gabi: "And Elliot I forgive you because you didn't really betray me as a friend since you've never really liked me in the first place."



Younger -
1. Diana: "I'm sorry doesn't fix anything. Get me a copy ASAP and clean up those damn scarves. Your cubicle looks like a Stevie Nicks estate sale."
2. Kelsie: "Hey come down here. We're at the bar next door. We're gonna help you liquor your wounds."
3. Denise: "Hanging out is not a thing, okay? What is it with you girls? It's like Tinder this, Snapchat that. The world is not one big booty call."
4. Thad: "I ordered 14 different kinds of tequila so nice knowing you guys."
5. Liza: "As disappointing as it is to realize you've been championing a fraud, it's even tougher to realize you are one."



About the Author - Dahne
One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and creates polls for The 100, Grimm, Teen Wolf, and others. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts the Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."
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