Previously - Kira joined lacrosse, Liam was crazy angry, Lydia found out Allison is the cipher key, The Benefactor is the Big Bad, and teen assassins killed a werewolf beer delivery guy.
New Freshmen Guide:
Crazy Teen Assassin - Violet, aka Kate 2.0
Angry Blond - Liam, aka Jackson 2.0 / Isaac 2.0
Blond Assassin - Garrett, aka Matt 2.0
Gay Non-Blond - Mason, aka Danny 2.0
Cannibal Blond - Sean, aka Monster 272
Blonde Idiot - Carrie Hudson, aka Dead 23,675
Tall Prep Blond - Brett - I am sure we'll find out who he is if/when he comes back
At Beacon Hills High, another new blonde teen runs for her life. Seriously, Blonde Idiot? It's Beacon Hills High. It's night. You are worth $500,000. What did you expect? She is also missing a hand, which I didn't expect. Violet, aka Crazy Teen Assassin, chases her down so she hides in the School Bus of Death. Yep, it's back. Like Dead Delivery Guy, Blonde Idiot chants, "The sun, the moon, the truth." Do you have a death wish? You obviously never played hide-and-go-seek. CTA boards the bus so Blonde Idiot has no choice but to bring out the claws and start slashing. At least she leaves the bus and runs…right into Blond Assassin's (Garrett's) car. He tells her to get in and since Blonde Idiot is missing a brain as well as a hand, she does. Everyone in the history of the world screams, "Stranger Danger." Garrett: "Seriously I can't believe you fell for that." Neither can we, buddy. Since she's too dumb to live, he stabs her in the heart. How exactly is this blonde worth more than Cannibal Blond or any of his family members? I ponder as the new, stellar credits roll. Since the writers think we are equally brain dead, Stiles recaps the last 2 episodes. (The ratings aren't that bad, PTB. I really did watch them.) Sadly no chessboard is involved. To summarize: No Mouth killed people. Peter killed him. You're caught up now. Oh and Parrish defused the bomb meant for Derek, while Scott and Argent realized Dead Delivery Guy was part of a werewolf pack they didn't know about. ARGH! Fleeting werewolf powers activate please! On the plus side, even in the suddenly crummy Beacon Hills economy, Stiles can afford a nifty clear board to create a new Wall of Weird, complete with red tape instead of string. But how will Lydia pluck it for info? Scott breaks into Stiles' narrative to explain the dead list to Sheriff. He is so over the supernatural junk in his town. Stiles mentions Lydia found the cipher key, Allison, to break 1/3 of the list and they share a moment of silence in remembrance. We miss you, Allison.
Since 2 more ciphers are needed to finish the list, Lydia stays at the cabin with Malia and Kira. Alas she has zero luck, staring at a record player and listening to static over and over again. Finally Malia and Kira have a silent conversation and decide Lydia needs a change. It's a great little moment, solidifying how much a part of the team they already are. They stand up together and Kira takes the needle off the record. It's time for Lydia to go home. She's obviously stressed right now and we all know Lydia's powers come and go on their own. Trying to force the issue only makes it worse. Back at the precinct, Sheriff asks the golden question - How many freaking supernaturals are there in Beacon Hills and how come none of the pack seems to know about them? Well I may have added the last part, but it's a valid question. Scott cites the nematon so now Sheriff is worried about the whole freaking county. Sheriff: "The population of Beacon Hills is 30,000." Stiles: "And dropping." Bwah! I'm amused but Sheriff is decidedly not. Beacon County has 500,000, far bigger numbers than I expected. Sheriff: "How many werewolves, bashees, kitsunes, whatever hell else is out there are we talking about?" Well given that every other person we meet is supernatural, I'm guessing 15,000. Give or take a few. Sheriff ponders just how much worse his job is going to get, while I search Trivago for a nice vacation package for him. Something tropical. Stiles and Scott assure Sheriff that the list has to be small because the whole dead pool has to equal $117 million minus the Benefactor's take. If you successfully pull off a heist that big, you ought to be able to keep part of it. Just saying. They all find it ironic that Hale money is being used to hunt down the last of the Hales and other supernaturals. I weep.
Oh for the love of my sanity, Teen Wolf! What the heck? According to Stiles some dead pool amounts are listed in thousands while others are in millions. Give me a break. Clearly the Benefactor is no accountant or even that smart. What stupid list creator doesn't distinguish amounts on the actual list and furthermore, why in the world is he mixing them? It's not like the list is alphabetical so all the millions should be grouped together and then the thousands. You'll have one ticked off assassin if they expect their money in millions and you only deposit thousands. For someone presumably smart enough to plan that heist, you didn't think this through at all. In addition, it is highly annoying that the only million dollar folks are part of Scott's pack or loosely affiliated. Oh whatever, Teen Wolf. At least Sheriff, Stiles, and Scott figure they have a teen assassin on their hands because they lured Dead Delivery Guy to the party. Speaking of, Blond Assassin and CTA debate killing higher money targets in the middle of a crowded school hallway since all genre shows have a mysterious Cone of Silence that descends during super secret chats in highly public places. Sure that guy who just bumped into your shoulder didn't hear a thing? Good to know. They're excited about 7 figure kills as lunacy is a job requirement for your average teen assassin. But it's not just loonies that don't know what secret means. History Dad asks Kira about her secret and she mistakenly think he's talking about the dead pool. She yammers about assassins and killings as the rest of Beacon Hills High moseys past. History Dad is confused because he was talking lacrosse. Oops. Probably the least of your worries, man. Kira grabs her jersey while History Dad murmurs, "Dead pool?" Um, excuse me. This is the time you yell at her to get back there and start explaining.
Instead we get Liam, surprisingly with his shirt on, working out in the locker room with Mason, who grouses about Garrett taking his hoodie and lying about his housing. I'm guessing the orphan freshman have better digs than Derek. Just saying. Mason also has issues with Liam's weird behavior. Mason: "And then there's this other dude man. He's…he's been acting really strange - running to school for no reason, disappearing at parties. He used to be my best friend." Liam: "Uh huh." Mason: "And who is apparently on steroids." Liam looks at all the weight he put on the bar and realizes he's about to blow his secret identity as a plot device. Mason thinks it's because they're playing his old school in a scrimmage that afternoon. Yeah, that won't go well. Liam cuts his workout short to head to the locker room, and for some reason Mason doesn't follow to check on his best friend. Oh the reason is Derek, who retains his Official School Stalker badge. He snaps a lacrosse stick to get Liam angry enough to wolf out and then proceeds to throw him against a locker with zero effort. Let's stop for a moment to ponder why Scott, an alpha, got his butt kicked multiple times not 3 days ago by the same baby beta. Scott says Liam's name a few hundred times and gives him his real lacrosse stick back. Derek agrees that Liam is angry and Scott tells Liam to go to class. Hmm. The point of this scene was….um, still no clue after the fourth watch. It does set up a good Sensei Derek scene though. Scott: "What are you smiling about?" Derek: "You're going to be good at this." Scott: "Are you kidding? I am totally unprepared. Remember how you said you could teach me a few things? I think right now I could use a…a full-on training manual." They agree Liam is strong and dangerous and therefore not likely to leave my screen anytime soon. Better stock up on socks. Scott grouses about how life isn't fair. He just wanted to actually attend school in person instead of theory, but Kate, the dead pool, and his stupid beta ruined everything. Derek tells him to focus on the dead pool, since it does seem to be most pressing.
Alas that means Lydia has to figure out the key. Or hey, you could ask Danny the computer wizard to hack it for you. You remember Danny right? The pre-Mason gay guy who already knows about werewolves and therefore could become the Willow of your Scooby Gang. No? I guess Malia hovering over Lydia's shoulder in a blatant violation of the personal bubble is the plan. No wonder their plans always suck out loud. Lydia tries to draw her way to an answer but Malia is uberannoying. "I'm not hovering. I'm waiting. Draw something. Write something. We need to know who else is on that list." Yeah, that'll help, Malia. Lydia: "You mean you need to know if you're on the list." Malia: "If someone's coming to take my head off, then yeah, I'd like to know." It's Beacon Hills, honey. Someone is always trying to kill you. She does suggest that they get Meredith's help, so score one for Plan B. Stealth on the other hand gets shafted again. As Coach gripes about how Beacon Hills High also suffers from money woes and cannot get much needed lacrosse equipment in spite of Nike sponsoring them, Stiles peruses crime scene photos of dead bodies IN CLASS!!! Oh for the love of Oreos, folks. At least Coach calls him on it. "You know Stilinski, if I could grade you on how profoundly you disturb me, you'd be an A+ student." Stiles: "Thanks Coach." Coach: "Put those pictures away." Coach bangs a lacrosse stick on Stiles' desk and light bulb moment. Stiles sees that the end of a lacrosse stick matches Blonde Idiot's wounds. Coach: "Stilinski, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't answer that." Ha! Best to preserve your own sanity, Coach. At least now they know they are looking for a lacrosse player freshman assassin. You'd think it would narrow things down, but with the influx of random blond kids these days who knows. They all look the same to me.
So do the bazillion lacrosse sticks Scott, Stiles, and Kira check out in the locker room. What budget crisis? Scott rightly points out that athletes use their own. Kira suggests cancelling the game but Scott disagrees. Scott: "The game is the best way to catch him red-handed." Stiles: "But what if he's red-handed because his hands are covered in the blood of the person he just stabbed to death, which by the way could be either of you guys." Fair point. Scott worries about Liam too, but Stiles points out that they've got nothing. "But we don't know anything about that list - how it's made, how it's updated. I mean who's been out taking a supernatural census anyway?" Ha! Apparently not people with werewolf senses who should be able to smell them. Kira wonders how they know about her but I say it's a clue on who the Benefactor is. Deaton, Argent, and probably Morrell knew about them all. Please don't be Argent. Stiles: "Alright, I think Kira's right. We should stop the game." Scott: "I'm not afraid." Kira: "Neither am I." Are you kidding me? Kira, blindly following Scott because you have the hots for him will get you killed! Luckily Stiles is the voice of reason. Stiles: "Well I'm terrified and I'm not even on the list. Guys, these are professional killers. It's their profession. One of them's got a thermal cut wire that cuts heads off. Who knows what else they have?" And that's just the ones with mouths. Ones that probably don’t plot nefarious schemes in the high school chem lab right in front of the window. Crazy Teen Assassin mixes up some super lethal wolfsbane while Blond Assassin takes out his wicked cool lacrosse blade…right in front of the window. Facepalm. CTA tells BA not to miss because this wolfsbane is expensive and even though they just scored $750,000 the whole freaking show has money woes. She wants to go after Scott for big money. CTA: "I'm just saying I don't know why we're going after a beta when there's an alpha on the field." BA: "Because an entire pack of alphas went after McCall and he was the one left standing." Smart thinking! He's the Crowley of Teen Wolf villains.
But first Lydia needs to break down….you guessed it, in another crowded hallway. No wonder Danny knew about werewolves. These guys practically shout it on bullhorns. Maybe you can include tips to survive the supernatural in the morning announcements. #1. Move out of Beacon Hills. Apparently Meredith is a bust because only family can see her and all her family's dead. Poor Meredith. Not that Eichen House stopped her before. Her scene with Coach in 3B is still one of my favorites. Malia suggests piano in the music room next. Lydia: "I'm not plucking piano strings for 2 hours waiting for some supernatural inspiration." Malia: "Fine. What else do banshees do?" Lydia: "You think I know? I can't just turn this on. I'm not like you guys. I don't have claws or glowing eyes or super senses. I just have voices in my head." The cone of silence goes as wonky as werewolf powers since everyone stares at Lydia this time. Oh Lydia, remember when you were the most popular girl in school dating the lacrosse captain. Beacon Hills has done you no favors. It’s not doing Liam any favors either as he stalks over to his former prep school teammates. Hey look. They're sponsored by Nike too. Did the Nike factory in Beacon Hills shut down? Is that where these money woes stem? Mason tries to stop Liam, but he's determined. Mason: "Unh here we go." Ha! For being Danny 2.0, Mason is the only new guy growing on me. Still prefer Danny though. Liam controls his temper, tries to apologize, and wants to shake hands. Tall Prep Blond is having none of it. The teacher who's car Liam demolished was also their coach. Tall Prep Blond threatens him and Liam starts to wolf so Scott and Stiles come in for the rescue. Scott drags Liam off while Stiles babbles a welcome. No dice also.
They drag Liam in for a cold shower because once again Scott cannot control his own beta. Perhaps Derek should just get a job as a substitute teacher and have him on call. Stiles goes brain dead, asking "Okay are you calm yet?" Well considering he's still part wolf and growling, I'm guessing that's a no. Eventually he subsides for awkward locker room confession time. (Bingo square) At least it's not in a public place where anyone can walk right in…oh never mind. Liam says he killed the car after his coach benched him the entire season for too many penalties. Good for you, Coach. Not so good for your car. Liam says a psychiatrist diagnosed him with intermittent explosive disorder. Yes, that's a real thing. Stiles: "IED? You're literally an IED. That's great. Great, you gave super powers to a walking time bomb." Ha! Even better yet, he gives Scott the sarcastic thumbs up. Bwah! Best moment of the night, but alas, now we're all stuck with Liam. He also chooses not to take his medicine because it hurts his lacrosse game. Fabulous! Way to take care of yourself and others. Not like your stepdad is a doctor or anything and could recognize the signs that you're not taking them. Scott wants Liam out of the game, but he refuses because this is season 1 all over again. All we need is a Blonde Hunter as Allison 2.0. Oh wait, that's Kira. Liam appeals to Scott as a leader which makes Stiles and I groan, so Scott fills him in on Blond Assassin. Actually it's lucky he did because Liam knows Garrett paid for the keg. How? Who knows? He was knocked out in the boathouse at that point. Still they now know the assassin so it's time for the slow-mo villain walk through school. Blond Assassin struts well.
At the game, Kira wonders why they don't take Garrett down Immediately. Scott reminds her they aren't 100% sure he's the bad guy, but that shouldn't stop them from stealing his stick and checking it out. Scott clues in on Kira's anxiety. Scott: "Nervous?' Kira: "About someone trying to kill us or about playing my first game?" Scott: "Both." Given the Devenford Prep students look about 30, she's got cause to worry. Stiles is also freaking out on the phone with Sheriff. Stiles: "Dad, you're supposed to be here. Where the hell are you?" Sheriff: "I'm leaving now and this conversation doesn't get me there any quicker." Ha! I said the same thing to impatient teens back in the day. Trust me Stiles, all it does is slow things down. So does banshee action. Guess who came to visit….Meredith. Yippee! And she's looking for Lydia. (Fun fact - Beacon Hills is about 15 miles from the coast line. I'm shocked they haven't done a beach scene yet with how often they love their cast members shirtless.) Mason is just looking for a good man and his eye is on Tall Prep Blond, who happens to be shirtless. Check that off the Bingo card. TPB also happens to be his best friend's mortal enemy. Not cool, Mason. Liam thinks he can take his much taller, muscular nemesis. Mason's too busy drooling to listen. Liam: "What do you think you're doing?" Mason: "What? Me? Agreeing with you. I'm being agreeable." Liam: "You think he's hot, don't you?" Mason: "No, no. Not at all. No way…maybe. Yeah maybe a little." Liam: "He wants to destroy me." Mason: "I think you could definitely take him…and then give him to me." Oh Mason, if I didn’t resent you for replacing Danny I could actually like you. Scott tries to get Coach to bench Liam, but not happening. Scott: "As Captain, I'm suggesting Liam sit out the game." Coach: "And as…uh, President of the United States, I'm vetoing that suggestion." Ha! I adore Coach.
Meanwhile on the high school campus while the lacrosse game begins, Derek opens up the not-so-secret family vault for Argent. Let's hope there's not a teacher in their classroom staying for the game or a late parent who can't find a close place to park. Derek gets the triskelion while Argent stares askance at the empty vault. Things are not looking good for you, as you get more suspicious every episode. That's my biggest argument against you being the Benefactor. It seems too obvious and out of character. Derek asks what Argent is going to do to Kate when he finds her and he says he knows a place to keep her. Excuse me! I think you meant to say you know people who will kill her for you. Derek: "You saying you have some kind of werewolf jail?" Ha! Perhaps we can send Liam there. Argent says he'll do what's necessary to contain her, but Derek wants first dibs. He flashes his baby yellow eyes at a stunned Argent. Derek: "She took something from me. At first I just thought it was a part of my past. I started to lose something else, my sense of smell. I'm losing my power." Duhn, duhn, duhn. With 16 minutes left in the episode, that's a huge plot twist. I know people are up in arms about this in the fandom, but I'm kind of excited. Derek's sole job for the last few years has been to get beaten up, tortured, and sleep with evil women. I'm glad he's got something else to do, even if it's to deal with life as a human. Now my podcast co-host says that Scott will bite Derek to give him back his powers and I am flat out saying it here. NO WAY! I have zero interest in Derek being Scott's beta. Screw that plan. I expect there is another solution to reverse Kate's spell and they better go there.
At the station, Sheriff makes it clear that he has to call Eichen House about Meredith. Lydia wants an hour. Sheriff can do 15 minutes. Parrish is unclear why Sheriff even called unless it's about Lydia's "psychic" thing. Sheriff scoffs and says its intuition. Parrish: "That's what they used to call psychics, intuitionists." Sheriff: "Yeah and I used to call myself a rational human being." Bwah! It's so clear where Stiles gets it. Sheriff has Parrish join him with Lydia and Malia in questioning Meredith. Lydia hands Meredith her cell phone and asks if she's going to answer it. She leans into Lydia: "It's not ringing." Ha! I love Meredith. She says Lydia called her, so I guess she's somewhat telepathic. That would be a cool banshee side trick. Parrish steps in and asks who Meredith calls for help. Brilliant move. Meredith says the number they need is 2436. Even Malia knows that's not enough digits for a phone number, so Lydia the genius figures out it's a code and breaks it, right? No. Instead she gets frustrated and pushes Meredith over the edge. Really? Lydia may be stressed but that shouldn't mean she checked her brains at the door. Sheriff gently tells Lydia to back off, but she doesn't listen and freaks Meredith out. She'll be no more help. Good thing Malia is thinking. 10 minutes after the rest of the world realized it was a phone cipher, Malia does too. Using the letters that correspond to the numbers on the phone, the second cipher key is…Aiden. Yikes! Dead teens all around. Boyd, you're probably next. Another third of the dead pool is decoded. This time with Kate, Mama Fox, Tall Prep Blond, and Jordan Parrish. Say what? Deputy Parrish is a supernatural and worth $5 million? This cannot be good. Malia and he are the only new characters I like. Don't kill him. Have to say I agree with Kate being worth 12 million though. She's the hardest to kill of them all. Parrish asks Lydia if she and Malia need a ride home, but she's smart enough to say no until they know what supernatural type he is. Much smarter than Blonde Idiot, anyway although that's not saying much.
Back at lacrosse, Breakout by Headhunterz & AudioFreQ blares as Devenford Prep takes an early lead. Kira: "Why do I feel like this is going to end badly?" Stiles: "Because it usually does." And he's not talking the score. Scott: "Kira, can you keep an eye out on Garrett? I'll watch out for Liam." Stiles: "Yeah, I'm just going to try to play lacrosse. Alright." Bwah! Hope it goes better than tryouts. Scott tries to get TPB to cut Liam some slack but that's not happening so Scott and Stiles have to hold Liam back after he goes down hard. Facing off against a fully bearded player, Stiles calls foul. "You guys know that anabolic steroids are illegal in the United States. Quite a lot of facial hair for a teenager. What are you on, seriously? HGH? Gamma radiation?" Hulk reference, you make me snicker. Embrace your inner geek, Stiles. His chatter works as he passes to Kira, who makes her first goal. Sadly she was supposed to pass it so Coach benches her for the rest of the game. Good for sticking to his guns. Alas that's one less person to watch out for Blond Assassin and Liam, who gets next nailed in the play. Scott obviously took lessons from Mama McCall, and sets Liam's bone on the field. He can do nothing for TPB, who writhes in agony after being stabbed by Blond Assassin. Scott thinks it's good luck that Garrett missed Liam, but one text from Lydia uncovers the truth. TPB is the target, not Liam. Scott races to the locker room, but before Scott can get there Crazy Teen Assassin takes out the adults helping while TPB tries to crawl away. She explains he's been stabbed by the wolfsbane-laced spear. CTA: "It won't kill you, but this will." She takes out her Heirloom Garrote Necklace, but I am confused. What does she mean the wolfsbane won't kill him? This is supposed to be a rare and powerful kind. Normal wolfsbane kills if we are supposed to believe the last, oh 3 seasons. This makes zero sense. Why buy expensive stuff that doesn't work as well? Not to mention, just 20 minutes earlier she said this type works fast.
She pulls the necklace around TPB's throat, but when Scott gets there he is still alive. Huh? Oh, CTA chose to make a play for Scott instead. Bad move. While she gloats, Scott gets his hands on the wire impervious to the heat I guess. New werewolf skill. He turns to look at her, red eyes glowing and slams her into the wall, unconscious as Stiles races in. Woo hoo! Scott gets to show his alpha power. It's about time! So glad he kicked CTA's butt, even more so since he wins about as many fights now that he's the alpha as Derek did when he was one. He tells Stiles to call Sheriff and I hope that is the end of teen assassins. Get rid of the new kids. And hey, take Mama Fratelli with you. She pops up on my screen way too often. This time Argent is in the storage area with his weapons when he hears a noise and activates the electric cage. Cool. He turns around as Mama Fratelli's henchman and he point guns at each other. Mama Fratelli: "In Mexico, we just call this a standoff." Um, okay. She wants to know where Braeden is and suspects Kate killed her. MF: "Maybe we should stop hiring other people to do our work. Maybe we do it ourselves." Okay, you're high on my Benefactor suspect list. MF puts both guns away and starts spouting the hunter code over and over and over again. I think they say, "We hunt those who hunt us," about 63 times before she demands Argent say it too. At first he refuses and I expect him to change it to the code Allison created - "We protect those who cannot protect themselves." Instead he gets all tight jawed and angry before repeating the old code too, practically growling it. Oh say it isn't so. Argent, you sadly are climbing my Benefactor list too. I can't have anyone on Team Parent trying to kill kids. I just can't.
All in all, this is the best Teen Wolf episode of the season. It definitely moved the mythology along and possibly started the end of 3 new kids. If CTA, Blond Assassin, and TPB are out, I will be very happy. Have to say though, Mason is growing on me whether I want him too or not. Can't Mason AND Danny still be in the show? I think there's room if we kill the rest of the freshmen off. Just saying. I also liked how this episode included some unusual pairings again, especially Malia and Lydia. I know Malia was very irksome this episode and Lydia was a douche with Meredith, but it is nice to see these two working together. They obviously make a good team. I also liked Kira in the mix because she is definitely at her best around Lydia. The fact that Kira and Malia are already able to have silent conversations is a great sign of the team gelling even without Allison. As always, Sheriff is also a highlight. His expressions while Scott and Stiles explain the dead pool list are priceless. This man needs a vacation from the supernatural badly. So does Meredith, who keeps getting pulled into this stuff and getting yelled at. If I were her, I'd tell Lydia to stuff it but I'm just so glad there's another banshee around to explain stuff to Lydia that I hope she begins to mentor her. Lydia's skills are still stuck in neutral and they need to start explaining what a banshee is the Teen Wolf universe. If not, she's the Psychic Sam of Teen Wolf - the one with the worst supernatural powers. So far season 4 has been a disappointment to me but things are starting to look up. We're almost at the halfway point in the season so it's time to put this thing in full throttle.
Best Scene - Scott takes CTA down with his superior alpha strength
Best Quote - Coach: "You know Stilinski, if I could grade you on how profoundly you disturb me, you'd be an A+ student." Stiles: "Thanks Coach." Coach: "Put those pictures away."
Best Moment - Stiles realizes Liam is actually an IED and gives Scott the sarcastic thumbs up
Best Silent Moment - Kira and Malia look at each other before deciding that Lydia should leave the cabin
MVP - plot twists
Best Returning Guest - Meredith and then Coach
Most in Need of a Dictionary - everyone, so they can look up the meaning of secret
Most Creepy - Derek actually smiles, which may signal the end of Beacon Hills
Screencaps by Screencapped.net