This was not my favorite episode. Actually this is not my favorite season so this episode is middling in a sea of SPN failures for me. 6 episodes to go or to turn things around. Let's get a serious reboot Supernatural writers. Please. On the plus side though we got Meg, Crowley and Sam vowing he will not lie anymore to Dean so it wasn't a complete wash.
15. Dean: "Hey Doc Holiday, you alright over there?"
14. Cas: "You know I can hear you both. I am a celestial being."
13. Dean: "Lucifer had crypts?" Cas: "Dozens of them apparently." Sam: "But why the storage wars? I mean what the hell are they all looking for?"
12. Wendy: "Sam and Dean Winchester, oh the thoughts she had about you two. Mostly you Sam. What can I say? She has a thing for smutton-chops."
11. Crowley: "Just to be clear, you can't find a hole in the ground, your co-workers have met with an untimely demise, and you've lost my favorite chew toy. Brilliant. What's that old expression? If you want something done right…" (Crowley whips out angel sword and stabs the demon with it.) Crowley: "Blah, blah, blah."
10. Cas: "I don't know. I'm hoping the strange haired demon in the kitchen is more knowledgeable than the others I interrogated."
9. Dean: "What the hell is this? Spear of Destiny? What is this? God's toothpick. You know would it have killed these a**hats to label these boxes in something other than hieroglyphics? It's ridiculous."
8. Cas: "So what have they found?" Meg: "Bubbkus. Every crypt has been one Al Capone vault after another."
7. Dean: "So chupucabra? What have we got - power tools gone rogue? Wait, are we talking a…a Maximum Overdrive situation here?" Sam: "I don't know. Worth a shot though. I'll grab my gear. We should probably leave in five." Dean: "Mmm hmm." Sam: "Unless of course you need some more time with Miss October." Dean: "What? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Make it 10."
6. Dean: "A demonic decoder ring…in Crowley's hands. Awesome."
5. Dean: "So I've got to ask, um….what's up with the hair?"
4. Dean: "Hello. These men of letters weren't so boring after all. Konnichiwa. Hey check this out." Sam: "Dude. What is wrong with you?" Dean: "Wrong with me? Are you kidding? This is a first edition dude. You know what this would go for on E-Bay?" Sam: "No. Why? Do you?" Dean: "No. Maybe. Shut up."
3. Dean: "So somebody's killing demons. Well that is awesome. I feel like we should send a card or flowers. What kind of flowers says thanks for killing demons?"
2. Crowley: "Tart stole my move."
1. Sam: "Wait. So a bunch of innocent people died so you could buy yourself some time?" Meg: "Hi. I'm Meg. I'm a demon."
14. Sam: "Wait a second. You've been telling Crowley the location of Lucifer's crypts." Meg: "What can I say? I needed the break from the constant torture and I did visit them all in my time with Yellow Eyes but don't worry. I haven't exactly been giving them the Glengarry leads."
13. Dean: "Hey what did you mean back there about Sam?" Cas: "It's difficult to say. It's something on the subatomic level and his electromagnetic field…" Dean: "Okay bottom line it for me Bill Nye. Is it lethal?" Cas: "I don't know."
12. Dean: "He lied to us." Sam: "Yeah maybe but I can kind of understand why. I mean…an angel tablet. If the demon tablet can shut the gates of hell, what can the angel tablet do?"
11. Meg: "There, that's where the crypt was." Sam: "What's there now?" Meg: "Do I look like Google to you? None of these buildings were here way back in the day. Figure it out genius. Is there any booze in this dump?"
10. Sam: "I did..uh, dead bodies showing up all over the Midwest last week. Benton, Indiana. Downers Grove, Illinois…uh, Novi, Michigan and then again last night in Lincoln Springs, Missouri." Dean: "And how is this us?" Sam: "Because each of the victims had severe burns around their eyes, hands, and feet, puncture wounds through the backs of their hands, eyes and internal organs liquefied." Dean: "That sounds like us."
9. Sam: "So what happened? I mean Cas touched the tablet and it reset him to his factory settings or something?" Dean: "I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that he is off the reservation with a…a heavenly WMD."
8. Cas: "Well…this is news to me as well. Demons I interrogated, they must have been lying about their true intentions." Dean: "Really because I saw you Zero Dark Thirty that demon. You were more than persuasive."
7. Sam: "He's definitely off." Dean: "Off? He hasn't been right since he got back from Purgatory. We still don't know how he got out of there."
6. Meg: "Go. Save your brother and my unicorn."
5. Crowley: " I've got a bone to pick with you Moose. After what you did to my poor dog." Meg: "You going to talk us to death or get down to it already." Crowley: "There's my whore. I'm not here for my dearly departed dog. I'm here for the stone with the funny scribbles on it."
4. Dean: "You know, why don't uh….why don't Sam and I take it over to him and you can get back to your mission - finding the other half of the demon tablet. That is priority isn't it?" Cas: "I can't let you take that Dean." Dean: "Can't or won't?" Cas: "Both." Dean: "How did you get out of Purgatory Cas?"
3. Sam: "Yeah but who's killing demons and why? And by the way, since when does a demon possess someone then go all Beautiful Mind and…and…and start digging in the dirt. Does any of this seem right to you?" Dean: "I like the part about killing demons - that sounds right."
2. Crowley: "Timon and Pumba tell you their big plan? Did they share that little chestnut with you? They mean to close the gates of hell sweetheart. They mean to kill me and all the demons, you included." Meg: "You had me at kill you Crowley."
1. Sam: "Wait a second. Did you just say angel tablet?" Meg: "You know I get why Crowley calls you Moose now. Yes. Angel tablet. Crowley found out Lucifer had it. Figures it's stashed in a crypt."
9. Cas: "If you're referring to the pizza man, yes I remember the pizza man and it's a good memory."
8. Dean: "Oh. Cas. Cas. I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it's me. We're family. We need you. I need you."
7. Dean: "But you heard what Cas said. That that first trial hurt you in ways that even he can't heal. Sammy I need you to be honest with me from here on out man." Sam: "You're right and I will be."
6. Dean: "Sam I saw your bloody rag in the trash can okay." Sam: "That wasn't…" Dean: "Stop. Just stop. Sam we don't know what's in there okay and you almost let a demon get the best of you back there." Sam: "I'm fine." Dean: "No you're not fine. You haven't been fine since the first trial. That's why I called Cas."
5. Dean: "Well he puts the a**in Cas huh?"
4. Sam: "Dean…I'm telling you I'm okay." Cas: "No you're not. Sam, you're damaged in ways even I can't heal. Dean's right. You should stay here and protect Meg." Meg: "Since when do I need protecting?" Cas: "Since you were held captive and tortured for over a year." Meg: "Touché."
3. Dean: "You want it, take it but you're going to have to kill me first. Come on you coward. Do it. Do it."
2. Dean: "Listen I may not be able to carry the burden that comes along with these trials but I can carry you." Sam: "You realize you kind of just quoted Lord of the Rings right?" Dean: "Come on man, that…it's…but it's…it's the Rudy hobbit. Alright Rudy hobbit always gets a pass. Shut up."
1. Dean: "Listen man I can't take anymore lies from anyone." Sam: "Yeah um…I know. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I..I…I just wanted to believe I was okay. I don't know."
"That's Season 8" Award - Meg: "Wait, that's how you spent your last year. With a chick? Lame."
-Way to say it Meg. I thought we were finally going to get some answers but no, the writers had to switch to the Dean-Cas mess instead. Urgh!
"That's Season 8, Part 2" Award - Dean: "What the hell just happened?"
-I have NO idea Dean. We started with out of character Sam and nothing has made sense in this season since. Canon is obliterated. Characters are caricatures. The mytharc pops up randomly. The pacing reminds me of a roller coaster that's broken down. It's all a hot mess.
"Proof Even the Writers Know Winchesters are Just Wallpaper This Season" Award - Sam: "Thanks for waiting."
-Nothing like having your main characters walk in after the demons are taken out. Or pinned to a wall. Or unconscious. Or standing around helplessly watching. (Deep sigh.) Season 8. (Eye roll.)
"If Only it were So" Award - Wendy: "I thought angels were supposed to be the good cops."
-You and me both honey.
"Question Since Season 4" Award - Meg: You know you're much cuter when you're shutting up. So which Cas are you now? Original make and model or crazy town?"
-Is there a character on any show that has flip flopped more times?
"Dean, You're Killing Me" Award - Dean: "Good times. Do you really think we can trust…uh, Megstiel?"
-What? Dean's a shipper now complete with stupid mash up name? Give me a break before my eyes bleed.
"Winchesters in Tandem" Award - Dean and Sam together: "Shut up Meg."
-And we get something that reminds me of classic Supernatural. Love this!
"Join the Club" Award - Meg: "Wait. So I took how many bullets for you guys and you didn't even look for me? Like once. Heh. My hero."
-Meg sweetie, I love your snarky demon self but if he didn't bother looking for his brother what makes you think you even registered in his mind?
"Voice of the Fandom" Award - Meg - "Wait, uh hold on. There's one part I don't understand. You hit a dog and stopped why?" Sam - "That whole story and that's your take away." Meg: "No I heard the rest. You fell in love with a unicorn. It was beautiful, then sad, then sadder. I laughed; I cried; I puked in my mouth a little."
-Oh Meg, thank you so much for trying to get us answers. I am firmly convinced that the writers and Jeremy Carver have no idea so that's why they keep trying to shush the outcry. I agree with your whole take. Well there was nothing funny about not looking or Amelia, but I cried at the character assassination and the whole beginning made me want to vomit.
-That's another spot of canon blown. Crowley's back story has him as a Scottish tailor who lived a few hundred years ago. Not Mesopotamia. This is going to take some retconning.
Episode Grade = D
(Saved from an F by Meg and Crowley)
Screencaps by Supernatural Fans Online